Reality and the Adjustment of Expectations

Still no word yet on whether the 28 days of brutal IV antibiotics killed the pneumonia bacteria in my blood (waiting on results) but I’m no better off than before I started them. I needed to try so I'm glad I did it but, once again, no results. I’m currently doing chelation to rid my body of heavy metals, B-12 shots for energy, and waiting to get my hands on a compound called glutathione that gave me 2 good days – the best days I had had in months. Long story but trying to get it for the best price from a pharmacy in Houston.


So where do I go from here? Adjust my expectations finally and accept reality. I’m no longer trying to get off my walker and scooter dependence. I am now merely trying to keep dressing myself, driving a car, and feeding my family. I know that two things make me feel better: glutathione and walking in the water. So I’ll focus on those two things and rely on my sweet Jesus to keep me going. We put so much hope in medical treatments and doctors and whatever else we can find. But my new mantra is this: Jesus is my hope.

At the end of my day, my hero comes home to me. I have a remarkable husband. I have a family. I have warmth and clean, organic food, water and shelter. Honestly, we don’t need more than that. I’m currently reading a book, The Hole In Our Gospel by Richard Stearns, World Vision president. In it, he carefully describes the state of poverty in this world and makes a plea for all of us to do our part. That includes me. Not sure how I can be of the best use – I don’t see any missions trips in my future, but I’ll find my opportunity somewhere. While we are on this earth, it’s not about us. It’s about helping others.

In the meantime, I’ll miss some of the party. I may not be the best hostess or neighbor but I’m figuring out what really matters. Maybe if I hadn’t been blessed with this disease, I never would have.