Drop In The Bucket

Two weeks into this brutal antibiotic protocol and my attitude is struggling. I’m so tired of feeling sick. The antibiotics make me nauseous and severely decrease my appetite. It’s a challenge every day to try and force down 1200—1500 calories which, on my fragile frame, is not enough. I have to keep reminding myself that my condition has not worsened; I am suffering from the side effects of this medicine. Once I’m done, hopefully, the medicine will have done its job and I will bounce back.


Until that time, I am homebound. I infuse 3 antibiotics through my pic line in the morning, one in the afternoon, and 2 at night. The side effects have made me so weak, I can hardly pick up my child from school or get out of the house at all. When I do, it’s not comfortable.

Once these are done, I’ll start chelation to remove the heavy metals and will start hyperbaric oxygen treatments 4x/week.

With all the horrors happening in the world right now in Japan, Libya, the Ivory Coast, and elsewhere, who am I to complain? We all know very well, however, that our problems are all relative. We still experience pain and challenges but of course there is always someone worse off than we are. All I’m advocating is that when we remember this and when we remember that there are children who are hungry, sick, and abused, may our complaints be gentler. And regardless of my attitude or my “suffering”, I still praise this awesome God for I know that all things work together for good for those who love Him. And we will share in Christ’s glory one day but right now, we must also share in his suffering. It is but a drop in the bucket.