Dawn Gusty

No Thank you, Dr. Ordinary. I bid you Good Day.

2011-12-16T11:14:00.000-08:00

Each day is a conscious battle. I refuse to accept what my conventional neurologist BLINDLY tells me. “You are progressing and will continue to progress. But, here – try this $30,000/year medication that will wreak havoc on your healthy tissues and your liver and just see if maybe that will work a little… but probably not.” So I have stopped seeing him. There were several key elements missing from this relationship – care, understanding, and a desire to see me get well.

"More important than learning what kind of disease the patient has is finding out what kind of patient has the disease." - Dr.William Osler, called the Founding Father of Modern Medicine. Oh how we went astray.

Insurance and Medicare pay for treatment not talk. The average time with the doctor at a typical visit is 6 minutes. Talking with the patient is key to the healing process. For example, a doctor talking with a diabetes patient about their lifestyle is virtually not reimbursed by the insurance company. However, when that same patient’s kidneys fail for lack of guidance, dialysis is consequently fully reimbursed. (note: Information taken from the documentary, The New Medicine) Does this make sense? Of course not. And the list of conflicts within the current system is endless.

So John and I chose to remove ourselves from that model.
I am now being treated by a doctor who left conventional medicine and the insurance prison and now works in a lovely office on a cash-only basis. He now has time to spend with each patient, doesn’t have to watch the clock and run on to the next patient, and he can act like the investigator that I need. What’s CAUSING the progression? Once we know, we won’t be taking blind steps towards toxic medicines that most likely won’t even help me. Finally, and most importantly for me, he took the time at the end of our visit to hold my hands and pray. Because without God’s healing power, all of our efforts are futile.

So we started with a run of blood tests that proved there is a virus (or viruses) in my body. They can hide in the DNA of any of my 100 trillion cells. My CD57 (Google that one if you are suffering or curious) was 45. That number should be around 200. That means my T-cells are low and it’s a good indicator that Lyme disease is present. My C4A test level was over 4000 and should be less than 650. Another indicator of Lyme, viruses present, and a severely weakened immune system.

One thing I know for sure (proven by an MRI done in October 2010): The MS has not been active or progressed for over 6 years now. So why did I take such a serious nosedive starting in 2008?

Another truth: The stem cell treatments I did last year were like rebuilding a house that was still on fire. They did have one gigantic benefit, however. They started me on this current path. I wouldn’t know what I know now. I wouldn’t have realized that help was available – it just wasn’t at my current doctor's office.

In January, I will begin an aggressive 4-weeks of IV vitamin C. I continue to do glutathione shots daily and vitamin B-12 shots 3x/week. That’s where we stand with treatment. That is specific treatment that makes sense.

I’m not dismissing all of Western medicine. SO many benefits are had each day in the hands of our doctors. Thank you for operating and saving lives, for putting us back together when we crash and break, and for countless other reasons. However, in my case, you didn’t do your jobs! Your answers to my troubles are pathetic. Now I’m forced to go out on my own. We’re spending our own money and taking my care into our own hands. The alternative was to just lie down and not get back up.

If you are reading my blog and you or a loved one are suffering from MS, Lyme disease, Parkinsons, etc., I urge you to also take matters into your own hands and take charge of your health. Don’t accept pathetic care that sucks you of hope. If you are a friend or stranger reading out of interest, thank you for your time and please continue to pray that I improve.

I urge everyone to educate yourselves starting with the documentary called The Beautiful Truth. Here is a link to the trailer and a link to watch it in its entirety online. There are countless others that will inform you of the power of superfoods, plant-based healing power, and the power of the mind in healing the body. I’ll put a list of them below. As always, email me. I love talking about it.

"Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food." - Hippocrates (Again, where did we go astray?)

The Beautiful Truth tailer: http://youtu.be/5ZmV8b1wr10

The Beautiful Truth documentary: http://topdocumentaryfilms.com/beautiful-truth/

Other important and enlightening documentaries:

The New Medicine
Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead
Food Matters
The Gerson Miracle

IT IS REAL.

2011-11-16T12:04:00.000-08:00

More on my current health journey at a later date. Something much more important is pouring out of me right now…

John and I were discussing this morning that we need to know opposites in order to truly understand. For instance, if we didn’t know soft, we wouldn’t understand hard. If we didn’t know wet we wouldn’t understand dry.

If we don’t know suffering and hardships, we won’t know pure joy and love. If we don’t know evil, we can’t fully understand good. Truth, joy, peace, love, kindness, patience, faithfulness, goodness, and self-control can’t be manufactured. They are gained by trials on this imperfect earth. They are gifts from our Heavenly Father and small tastes of what awaits those who love Him back. We have to choose to love Him and what a reward awaits us.

If you don’t believe it, what if you’re wrong? Do you want to base your soul’s eternity on your limited human opinion?

God is a lovesick father who is longing for all of His children to recognize Him and what He did for us. He let His only son, Jesus Christ be tortured and conquer death for each and every one of us. Now we live with this sin but we know the truth – that Jesus drank our entire cup for us. He removed that sin as far as the east is from the west. “It is finished” were Jesus’ last words.

“I see my earthly afflictions as opportunities to show my faithfulness.” – Joni Eareckson Tada (She’s a quadriplegic for 40+ years who paints with her mouth. She is in daily excrutiating pain. Oh, and she’s also fought breast cancer.)

“No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love Him.” I Corinthians 2:9

I have many friends who don’t believe. If I tried to talk with them, it wouldn’t be received well and friendships would be lost. So I will write it here for all to see on their own. And I will live my life to show the good news of Jesus Christ. And I will pray that everyone I can reach will choose the glorious ending God has in store for us.

Still not convinced? Read these two books: (They’re quick and fascinating reads.)

Heaven Is For Real by Todd Burpo – The story of a 4-year-old boy who visited Heaven during a serious surgery and gave his parents proof over the next year.

23 Minutes In Hell by Bill Wiese – The story of a man who experienced hell then Jesus saved him and pled with him to share it with others because he doesn’t want any of His children to end up there.

And I don’t want anyone I know to end up there. IT IS REAL. Honestly, what do you have to lose to be open to the idea? Love God. Love people. How can you argue with that? Is there a better way to live? Thoughts, challenges, etc. are welcome. Bring it on. This is my way to share it. I have to. It makes me so sad to think of people missing out on this incredible truth. NOTHING. ELSE. MATTERS.

Reality and the Adjustment of Expectations

2011-05-15T14:27:00.000-07:00

Still no word yet on whether the 28 days of brutal IV antibiotics killed the pneumonia bacteria in my blood (waiting on results) but I’m no better off than before I started them. I needed to try so I'm glad I did it but, once again, no results. I’m currently doing chelation to rid my body of heavy metals, B-12 shots for energy, and waiting to get my hands on a compound called glutathione that gave me 2 good days – the best days I had had in months. Long story but trying to get it for the best price from a pharmacy in Houston.

So where do I go from here? Adjust my expectations finally and accept reality. I’m no longer trying to get off my walker and scooter dependence. I am now merely trying to keep dressing myself, driving a car, and feeding my family. I know that two things make me feel better: glutathione and walking in the water. So I’ll focus on those two things and rely on my sweet Jesus to keep me going. We put so much hope in medical treatments and doctors and whatever else we can find. But my new mantra is this: Jesus is my hope.

At the end of my day, my hero comes home to me. I have a remarkable husband. I have a family. I have warmth and clean, organic food, water and shelter. Honestly, we don’t need more than that. I’m currently reading a book, The Hole In Our Gospel by Richard Stearns, World Vision president. In it, he carefully describes the state of poverty in this world and makes a plea for all of us to do our part. That includes me. Not sure how I can be of the best use – I don’t see any missions trips in my future, but I’ll find my opportunity somewhere. While we are on this earth, it’s not about us. It’s about helping others.

In the meantime, I’ll miss some of the party. I may not be the best hostess or neighbor but I’m figuring out what really matters. Maybe if I hadn’t been blessed with this disease, I never would have.

Drop In The Bucket

2011-04-03T08:44:00.000-07:00

Two weeks into this brutal antibiotic protocol and my attitude is struggling. I’m so tired of feeling sick. The antibiotics make me nauseous and severely decrease my appetite. It’s a challenge every day to try and force down 1200—1500 calories which, on my fragile frame, is not enough. I have to keep reminding myself that my condition has not worsened; I am suffering from the side effects of this medicine. Once I’m done, hopefully, the medicine will have done its job and I will bounce back.

Until that time, I am homebound. I infuse 3 antibiotics through my pic line in the morning, one in the afternoon, and 2 at night. The side effects have made me so weak, I can hardly pick up my child from school or get out of the house at all. When I do, it’s not comfortable.

Once these are done, I’ll start chelation to remove the heavy metals and will start hyperbaric oxygen treatments 4x/week.

With all the horrors happening in the world right now in Japan, Libya, the Ivory Coast, and elsewhere, who am I to complain? We all know very well, however, that our problems are all relative. We still experience pain and challenges but of course there is always someone worse off than we are. All I’m advocating is that when we remember this and when we remember that there are children who are hungry, sick, and abused, may our complaints be gentler. And regardless of my attitude or my “suffering”, I still praise this awesome God for I know that all things work together for good for those who love Him. And we will share in Christ’s glory one day but right now, we must also share in his suffering. It is but a drop in the bucket.

New Doctor New Treatment New Hope

2011-03-20T13:53:00.000-07:00

MS symptoms are caused by lesions on the brain and spinal column. As of the MRI I had done in September, I have no active lesions and no new ones. Based on that information, one would deduce that my MS is not worsening. However, since late 2008, my symptoms have progressed severely. Why? WHY?!?

There is a virus or bacteria in my system somewhere that is causing me to become weaker and weaker. There is no doubt that I do have MS but something is making my symptoms worsen. I finally found a doctor who is willing to investigate. We did a blood test and a heavy metal test and the results are in.

My heavy metals aren’t off the charts but they are present at levels they shouldn’t be. I start chelation within the next week.

Even more telling is the result of the blood test. They found an active bacteria, IgA C. pneumonia, in my spinal fluid. That means it’s hanging around my brain. Anytime any bacteria is present in the body, the immune system will try to fight it. My wimpy immune system had enough trouble to deal with before this unwelcome intruder set up camp. It could explain the crippling fatigue.

God has opened another door for me. We are treating the bacteria with powerful IV antibiotics starting this week. Once that is done, I will take a compound called glutathione then I get a Meyer’s cocktail of vitamins for dessert. Throughout it all, I’m doing Hyperbaric Oxygen treatments 4 times a week for 10 weeks. This will stimulate healthy stem cell growth and assist in detoxification.

I am counting on this treatment to get me back up and running. If I could get to exercising again, I know I will improve. I know I will improve when my body is cleaner. I’ll keep everyone posted as this new journey progresses.

Don't worry, I got this one. (-God)

2011-02-08T10:00:00.000-08:00

Don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today. – Matthew 6:34

The bolts of your gates will be iron and bronze, and your strength will equal your days. – Deutoronomy 33:25

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. – Phillipians 4:13
Based on scripture, and taken from Elizabeth George’s book, Loving God With All Your Mind, :

• Nothing will ever happen to you that God doesn’t already know about.

• Nothing will ever happen to you that is a mistake.

• Nothing will ever happen that you cannot handle with God’s power and grace.

• Nothing will ever happen to you that will not eventually be used by God for some good purpose in your life.

• Nothing will ever happen to you without God’s presence.

My trips to Tijuana were not wasted. Your donations and prayers were not in vain. There are a lot of good things that came from that experience. Most notably, my nerve pain and numbness went away for 3 solid months. They have come back a little but it’s nothing like it was. There’s a positive.

I met a woman who is changing my life through nutrition. There’s a positive.

I was pushed down another path which is still a mystery but gives me some hope. The doctors believe that there is something else causing my mobility issues. Blood tests are required which are being done. That’s a positive.

That said, I feel like I need to explain to everyone that I’ve ordered the wheelchair and I can’t get around too well on my own anymore. My mobility has officially stopped improving and I am getting worse again.

As I wrote above, there is still much peace to be had through God’s presence and His purpose behind all things. I have to trust Him. I have to be patient and I just have to be thankful no matter what. I am not a refugee. I am not hungry. I have clean water. I am surrounded my love and comfort. I have an amazing man who loves me to pieces. I get to help two beautiful boys grow into awesome people. I am so truly blessed. And I know there are positives that come from my illness and I will hold on to those and be proud.

What's Up With Dawn?

2010-11-30T19:33:00.001-08:00

I haven’t known exactly how to explain my current condition. Honestly, I still don’t. It’s hard to face some realities. I wanted so badly to prove the naysayers wrong. I wanted so badly to meet the expectations of well wishers. I wanted so badly to be the success story. So many people have prayed fervently for me. (Hundreds? Thousands?) I wanted to see the answer. But God chooses how and when. It’s not up to me to declare the end result. And I’m not mad at Him. My faith is stronger than ever.

I’m not exactly a success story but I won’t accept anything close to a failure either. Let’s start with the tremendous positives that came out of my two stem cell treatments: I no longer have nerve pain! If you have never experienced it, it’s terribly hard to explain and consider yourself very lucky. Imagine wearing super tight pantyhose filled with sharp gravel. I am also experiencing significantly less numbness in my legs. Those are two valuable victories.

But the focus is so heavy on my mobility. That is the measure of how well I’m doing. That’s what people see. Sadly, my mobility has not improved. In fact, it’s becoming more of a challenge to simply move around. I continue to work at it but I am not getting any stronger and that’s discouraging.

Discouraging is such an awful word though. I wish I wouldn’t use it. The truth is that it is relieving to accept my limitations. It’s a relief to accept that a big change may not come quickly for me. So I’ve had to put this “disease” into perspective and rethink my journey. Thanks to my nutritionist and my wonderful primary care doctor, I’m working on getting the virus (because that’s what they believe) out of my system and hopefully be able to function better.

In the meantime, you may see me in a wheelchair. But don’t look sadly upon me and say, “Oh no, it didn’t work!” Just say, “Nice try! Keep at it!” Or just smile big and open the door for me.

This is all I have to say today.

2010-10-24T12:23:00.000-07:00

2 Corinthians 12:8-10 (New Living Translation)

8 Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. 9 Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. 10 That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

I am so focused on my physical walk that I may be ignoring my spiritual walk. I have my own plans for when I get well but maybe God has something else in mind.

I will continue to work. I will continue to try and be strong but I need to find peace with where I am and what I have.

I'll be honest: I'm not doing as well as I did after the first treatment. I'm so consumed with how much everyone wants to see me get well and how much I want to prove those un-believing doctors wrong. That doesn't need to occupy my thoughts right now. I'm just going to do my best to keep up with my therapy and maybe I'll get stronger or maybe I'll just stay the same. But I trust God is fully aware of my situation and has it under control. That is the only way I'll feel any peace right now.

Psalm 37
7 Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for him to act.

My Solution

2010-10-19T10:21:00.000-07:00

When I saw my neurologist a couple weeks ago and told him I was going back to Tijuana for a booster treatment, he asked me, “how many times will you go back?” When will I give up on this treatment? At the time, I didn’t know how to answer.

I’m sitting in the clinic now and it has finally clicked. I know how to answer now. I don’t give up on this treatment. This is the one that works. I have not seen improvement from any other medications thus far. My first stem cell treatment was the first time I have actually gotten better. I expect that I will improve even more after this round.

I spoke with one of the doctors in the clinic this morning and asked if there was a limit on booster treatments one should do. He said he had seen improvement in patients who do a booster treatment every 6 months for 5 years. There is no limit. I would even continue to improve if I did this protocol once per year.

Some naysayers say this treatment is like “pissing” in the ocean. But if you piss in it enough, the ocean will eventually turn yellow.

My neurologist and his partner have stated that it is highly possible that they could do this treatment in the states and that it would only cost $2000. (Versus the $30K charged by the brokers for this treatment in Mexico.) But they also said they probably wouldn't because he doesn't think it works. My tapping left foot will tell you it works better than anything else I've tried.

The following medications are available to me but have not helped my condition in the slightest:

Copaxone $3267 / month

Avonex $2941 / month

Rituxan $3000 / 500 mg

Rebif $2809 / month

Why can’t I count on a stem cell booster every 6 months for $2000? I would continually improve and it would, most certainly, keep me out of a wheelchair.

I am so damn sick of the approach so far that just turns my engine light off in the car without knowing what is making the light go on in the first place. We wouldn’t do that to our cars, why do we do this to our precious bodies?

I have been blessed by the care of a wonderful Mexican doctor who just wants to see me get well. Therefore, no, I am not paying $30K for round number 2. But I can’t continue to come to Tijuana every 6 months. I have children. My parents can’t be expected to fill in that often. I should have this option for treatment at home. This is my solution. This is my fight.

Tijuana here we come!

2010-10-16T21:02:00.000-07:00

Back for round two. We are leaving today, Sunday, October 17. The decompression treatments at the chiropractor have already made a difference. The numbness I was experiencing is significantly less.

This post is short. I'm not in the mood to type. I will, however, keep this blog updated while we are in TJ and how this second treatment helps me. I have great hope that it will do more than the last.

Viva la stemcells!

Going Back To Tijuana

2010-09-18T06:08:00.000-07:00

There are a lot of eyes on me. Most of them are on me because they’ve been praying for me and want to see me better. Many of them are on me because I represent the last bit of hope they have to get better and they’re planning their own stem cell journey. A few of them are on me because they don’t believe this treatment works and they’re waiting for it to fail. I want to be skipping down my street so they all see. That isn’t happening yet. Because I’m in the spotlight, I’ve tried to stay positive, strong, and optimistic. I don’t want to let anyone down. But I’ve been reminded that I don’t need to worry about the expectations of others. This is my journey and I’m going to share it with you – the peaks and the valleys.

I have slipped the past couple weeks. My struggle has intensified with the head cold I picked up. It has not been easy and has been very discouraging. So we called the doctor in Mexico and we’re going back for the follow up treatment on October 17. We are not going back to try it again. We are going back to complete the treatment that we already started.

For some, one treatment is enough. I would even say that most patients improve gradually more and more after just one treatment. I’m a special case. There are some other issues that we need to address to make this successful. And I’m still 100% confident that it will be.

My first message is to those people seeking this treatment: As I’ve told you before, don’t expect the stem cells to do it all for you. Be ready to fight. The stem cells are a powerful weapon but they don’t work alone. Diet, exercise, supplements, and a fighting spirit finish it off. Don’t consider my current struggles a failure.

My second message is to those close to me who are praying and hoping for the best: keep praying. I’m on my way. Don’t be sad or worry about me. The battle is a long one but I’m still in it and I will be victorious.

My first step is to get spinal decompression treatments from the chiropractor before I leave for Tijuana again. The doctor in Mexico suspects that could be interfering with the success. Falls can contribute to spinal compression. I find myself at one with the floor quite often so we may have our answer. Regardless, this is my proactive attempt to make this second treatment even more effective.

Secondly, I have found a wonderful doctor in Franklin who offers hyperbaric oxygen treatments from his office; doing this right when I come home will also increase the effectiveness.

Finally, I am still on a superior supplement program through my nutritionist in Houston and my dear stem sister. She’s got me on track to re-grow nerves and get my insides doing what they need to do. And I continue my anti-inflammatory diet and juicing.

With all this said, I should reiterate that I am still much better than I was before I left for my first treatment. Even if I don’t go back to Tijuana for a second treatment, I’m not headed for a wheelchair anymore. But I am headed back to see my wonderful Mexican doctor again and then I’m on my way to victory. Viva la stem cells! Ole!

To Turn Back Time

2010-08-23T19:48:00.003-07:00

The progression of the MS symptoms hastened in the last 2 years before the treatment. Our goal with the stem cell treatment was to move back in time; to trudge through the muck and get to a better place. I wasn’t expecting to erase the disease. I just wanted to go back in time. I remember functioning better in 2007. Wouldn’t it be great to see those days again? Even better, what if I could go back to 2005? Or 2003?

According to the testimonies of other MS patients who had stem cell treatments, I was hoping to go back a couple years right away. As of today, I have gone back in time 6-8 months. That’s enough to know that I am no longer headed for a wheelchair. I am more certain that I’m headed to 2005. The stem cell treatment, diet, exercise, and supplements are my weapons in this daily battle. It takes time for nerves to repair and muscles to grow. One year from now, I will be a different woman.

Today, I still struggle. I still have to use my walker daily and my scooter from time to time. But I am getting out of the house without worry. I’m exercising! I am taking my kids out! I get out of bed in the morning with a smile – not an exhausted sigh. I believe that the stem cells have most definitely done their job in a tough environment. The disease had progressed so severely and it wasn’t easy to move back the clock.

If you see me out and about, know this: Yes, I still use my walker and I still drag my left foot sometimes. But I am tremendously better. I am headed down a different path.

If you are considering a treatment yourself, know this: The stem cells can’t do it alone. You need to change your lifestyle in order to help them do their job. Be ready to fight or don’t waste your money.

If you are one of the ones who said this doesn’t work, know this: Lifestyle change alone could not move me back in time. I tried it before. My body is experiencing a miracle.

I know we’re not supposed to live in the past. But for me it is so sweet to be able to visit it again. I set my eyes on the future knowing that it will bring me more of those visits.

Front Page News

2010-08-02T21:49:00.000-07:00

Great exposure, Tennessean! Thank you! If you happened to have missed it, click HERE for the story!

What has been most overwhelming since the story ran are the people who have sent me emails and reached out to me on Facebook. I'm touched by all of them. I'm honored to be an inspiration and to be of any help to people out there who are just like me...struggling with a disease and not given hope by their doctors. There have been many emails and I'm going to reply to each and every one so be patient if you haven't heard from me yet.

There was also a huge amount of comments made on the story which sparked debate about stem cells in the US and also whether this treatment was viable at all. Honestly, it was hard to read some of them. Doubt and discouragement creep in so easily. Here is a sample:

Wow, I feel sorry for Dawn and her family, but I have to admit this is some pretty shoddy reporting by the Tennessean. Barely a mention of the fact that this is a complete scam lacking in any scientific validity, preying on the desires of dying patients for miracle cures to rob them of their life savings.

Agreed. This is a south of the border scam, ripoff, outright criminal fraud.

I hope that Tennessean will have a follow up report in 6-12 months. These things unfortunately do not work and if theoretically some stem cells survive, they still will be affected by autoimmune process. Clinic in Tijuana is richer by $30,000 and a lot of people are misled.

To those of you who wrote these comments, shame on you for attempting to crush my faith and the hopes of others reading this. Just a scam? Tell that to my tapping left foot.

My hopes were so huge that I truly thought I'd come home from the treatment and not need my walker anymore. I thought I'd hop off the operating room table and be ready to walk. Reality has set in and I realize that, as I stated in the article, it didn't pull me out of the deep hole, it gave me a ladder. I wasn't able to exercise at all pre-treatment and now I am. I was given the chance to work and get stronger. I will wake up every day for the rest of my life and have to face that challenge. That is my current reality. Without this stem cell treatment, my reality would have been a wheelchair.

Sure, there are bad guys out there who do con sick people and prey on their hopes. But not my clinic in Tijuana. There is no doubt in my mind that they truly want to help their patients. And there is no doubt in my mind that I will stand next to them in Heaven one day. They are truly good men.

To end this on a positive note -

Dear Dawn, You stick to your guns! You and John have entered a controversial area of medicine where people in the United States truly believe that the FDA and the AMA are the final authority in deciding what is best for the population here and their needs as far as medical drugs and medical treatments. When the doctors finally come to an MS patients and say, “there is nothing else I can do for you” what are your options? You can roll over and make believe that your life is over, you can wait and hope that in 10 to 15 years the FDA does approve stem cell treatments and you will still be around to get it or as you did, look for alternative medical procedures in other countries that allow these types of treatments and where many other people in your situation have benefitted from them. People need to look at the clinical trials that are happening all over the US using Adult Stem Cells. This treatment process works and you are living proof that life goes on and life gets better with faith, hope and a little help from your own stem cells!
Peter K. Sidorenko, Stem Cells for Hope

Watch the Video of Dawn's Transplant

2010-07-19T14:23:00.000-07:00

Below is the 2-part video of the entire transplant procedure. While there is nothing super-graphic shown in this footage... please be aware that if you are squeamish of needles, etc... you may have to turn away a few times!

However... it is important that others who are considering this procedure be allowed to see exactly what is taking place. It will take about 15 minutes to watch both parts. They run around 8 minutes each.

Part 1:

Part 2:

It's Been 2 Weeks

2010-07-16T12:04:00.000-07:00

Successes to report:

I can go from sitting to standing without holding on to anything.
I can stand up to get dressed.
I can ride my cycle 9 minutes morning and night.
I can type with 2 hands.
I can brush my teeth standing up.
I can still tap my left foot. (Not without much effort but I can do it!)
I took the kids to the library and out to lunch yesterday and made it back home. The heat index was 105. No way I could have done that before. Then later, we went swimming!

Good things, yes. There is definite improvement. I haven't seen improvement in a long time.

This does not come easy. I think I foolishly hoped that I would come home from this treatment and immediately be a different person. I wasn't aware that I was in store for so much work! And this work doesn't end. This work is a lifestyle change.

I have to eat this way for the rest of my life. I have to exercise every day and work to rebuild lost muscle. Finally, and most importantly, I have to keep my attitude positive. If that falters, I lose.

There are still bad periods in each day. I still suffer debilitating fatigue in the late afternoons. I still experience periods of numbness in one area or another temporarily. I still use my walker. I still have to rest throughout my day. I'm realizing and understanding now that these may be my lifelong hardships. Here's where the attitude adjustment comes in.

I'm still going to work my tail off. I've got 12 more days left in this critical first 28 day period. I know I can make a lot more connections and regain a lot more strength in that time. Onward...

You Only Get One Shot

2010-07-12T20:32:00.000-07:00

"You better lose yourself in the music, the moment you own it, you better never let it go. You only get one shot. Do NOT miss your chance to blow. This opportunity comes once in a lifetime, yo."

If you're not familiar, that's Eminem. I could listen to this song non-stop. As he says in the song, "failure is not an option".

I have been given a very precious gift. It's up to me now to make the most of it. The first 30 days are so critical. I need to make the connections happen. As much as it hurts, I have to move. As much as I don't want to drag myself to stand up, I have to get to the pool. It's not easy but I'm going to make it work. I consider this as my last shot - my one shot - to make a difference in how I live the rest of my life.

So what does that look like so far? Here's my update:

My diet has drastically changed. I now eat only meat, fish, vegetables, fruit, nuts, and eggs. After a couple more weeks, I'll add sprouted wheat. That's it. No sugar, no dairy, no bread, and no soy. I'm committed to eating like this for the rest of my life.

I am officially on a specialized supplement program from my nutritionist which supports my immune system and my bone marrow especially. This is the amazing woman I spent each day with in the clinic in Tijuana.

I am exercising again. It's not huge but I'm doing it. I got on my stationary bike and rode for 2 minutes this morning before I collapsed. Tonight, I rode for 5 interrupted minutes. My legs are wiped. I will eventually work up to 10 minutes in the morning and 10 minutes in the evening.

I've gone to my dear neighbors' pool the last two days and will be visiting them every day while they let me. I cycle in the water and, most importantly, go under water and hold my breath for 30 seconds at a time. This is so important because the pressure in my brain causes connections to be made.

Finally, I'm doing my yoga again. I have missed that so much. Before I left for treatment, I couldn't do a sun salute anymore. I'm doing 3-4 each day now and will soon work my way up to doing 6-8 per day agan.

It's still easy to worry and to lose faith from time to time. But those thoughts are so poisonous and they do no good. My greatest inspiration is God and the voice of truth when He says, "Do not be afraid for I am with you." Eminem is obviously a far cry from the divine but he works to get me up the stairs, yo.

To all of you who have been reading our updates, thank you so much for caring!! We will continue reporting successes. I'm not quite ready for the "after" video but I'm sure I will be soon. Thank you so much to all of you for your encouragement. I have really great people in my life.

John Update: "But Wait... There's More!"

2010-07-08T21:48:00.000-07:00

Of the many blessings that Dawn experienced on this journey was the absolute honor of going thru the transplant procedure with a wonderful, brilliant women from Texas named Cynthia. Cynthia is approximately 15 years Dawn’s senior and is to nutrition what Yoda is to the ways of The Force.

Translation to all non-Star Wars geeks: She a nutritional bad-ass!

It will be via Cynthia’s guidance that Dawn will maintain a post-treatment nutritional protocol that will help the cell transplant stick, remain active and progressing.

For the sake of other’s following Dawn’s journey in hopes of this procedure being an option for themselves or a loved one… I’ll do my best to keep everyone updated on Cynthia’s condition, progress and input. Perhaps someday soon we’ll get her to do a “Guest-Blog” and share her wealth of knowledge of keeping this wondrous machine we call our body running at top-notch condition.

Here are her one week post-treatment “victories”:

1. Able to pick feet up and walk with walker, not just slide feet

2. Better than 50% reduction in inflammation of legs, ankles and feet

3. Able to do leg lifts with light weight at gym for first time in 10 years

4. Increase in mental acuity

5. Feeling much less fatigued

6. Can stand and remain solidly balanced on her feet – unable to do so prior to surgery

There you have it. It’s not just happening to Dawn… these results are real and life-changing. Congratulations to Cynthia and her wonderful crew. We made three life-long friends during our time with Dr. Andrade. Cynthia and Co. will be a significant part of a much bigger story moving forward.

God bless our new comrades! God bless Cynthia’s progress!

Update from John: "One Week Out"

2010-07-07T22:19:00.000-07:00

It’s been exactly one week since the transplant. And I think this would be a good time to list some of the changes that Dawn has experienced so far. Please keep in mind that the majority of the changes should occur in the 4 to 6-week post-treatment time window. But we were told she’d experience little “victories” along the way. Here’s what we’ve experienced thus far:

• LOSS OF FATIGUE: Pre-treatment… Dawn was waking up exhausted. Period. And it was hard to watch her try and have a somewhat normal day when she started out completely wiped from the moment she opened her eyes. For the most part… the fatigue is gone.

• HAND & FINGER MOTOR SKILLS/FUNCTIONALITY: It was getting to the point where typing and using the phone was becoming a problem. Especially with her left hand. She is now experiencing much better functionality and accuracy.

• FUNCTIONALITY OF THE LEFT FOOT: Pre-treatment Dawn was unable to lift her left foot off the ground. She basically swung/dragged her left foot in order to get it to where it needed to be. She can now lift it. And most exciting of all… she can actually tap her left foot. We are still trying to decide if this is due to the actual treatment or the new Lady Ga Ga single!

• INCREASED POWER IN HER THIGHS & KNEES: Dawn is now able to do her version of a “squat” – which is basically her going from the standing position and bending her knees and going down into a squat-like position and then coming back up. Pre-treatment she couldn’t do even one of these. Her new record is 7 sets of 12. For the mathematically-challenged…. That’s 84!

• THE ABSENCE OF NERVE PAIN: This is one that is hard for those of us not going thru this to understand. But Dawn has been living with a constant “burning-and-tingling” sensation mostly in her legs that was quite uncomfortable and quite constant. That is now gone. This nerve pain also caused spasms in her legs and feet. This has also subsided. One more issue that is also gone is the cold/freezing sensation associated with this kind of nerve pain.

• THE ABSENCE OF NUMBNESS: Dawn felt a general numbness from her knees to her toes. This was a daily occurrence. That is also mostly gone.

So for those keeping track, or possibly experiencing these same symptoms, it’s important that we chronicle these improvements.

Little “victories” indeed!

What you see now.

2010-07-06T15:47:00.000-07:00

I didn't want to write a new blog because I didn't want to take that picture off of me and Dr. Andrade. So I'm including another one of my daily clinic friends. This is Christina, my sweet favorite nurse Angelina, and Dr. Andrade who is saying in the picture, "Joo are tall!" I miss them all. We just don't get to have these kinds of medical experiences in the US. They are all wonderful people who truly care about making their patients better. A concept that is foreign to most of us.

So NOW...what can we see? Many of you might run into me on the street back home and think I look the same. But what you are seeing is the weakness of idle muscles. Now that my MS symptoms are out of the way, I feel just how weak my body has become. I can't believe I had to fight this on top of severe fatigue, nerve pain, and spasticity.

I've had a few moments in the last couple of days when I felt discouraged because I'm still having a pretty hard time getting around. But then I realized that was just the muscle weakness! My muscles have been un-used for years. My core is worthless and my legs are like poles. The flesh just hangs off the bone. I was also feeling pain in my leg muscles. That's because I'm waking them up and using them for the first time in so long! This new pain is welcome! It's nothing like the pain I used to experience.

I have NO numbness is my body whatsoever. That's a first.

I have NO fatigue!! That's a first.

I have NO nerve pain!! That's a first.

Physical therapy when I get home is a must. I'm eager to rebuild the muscle. I'm not going to visit my doctor at home until I'm stronger. I don't want him to see me just a little bit better - I want to blow him away!!

Day #5: John "The Husband" Update

2010-07-03T22:04:00.000-07:00

First off… apologies for the delay in updates. It’s been a pretty celebratory last couple of days!

Day #5 at the clinic consisted of a Vitamin C I.V. drip to start off the day followed by a B-12 injection. That’s it. The remainder of the day was spent going over the continuing protocol that we will have to keep in place over the next 2 months.

To say that there has been much rejoicing is an understatement. Dawn is able to do things already that were unheard of just a week ago. She is able to type competently. She can navigate the buttons on her phone… which has been a MAJOR hassle in the last few months.

Tonight (the evening of Day #6) we went out to eat as a family. Now see if you can follow me on this:

We are on the 3rd floor of a major hotel. Dawn made it from our hotel room all the way TO THE CAR, plus all the distance required to get in and out of the restaurant… then back to the hotel room WITHOUT HER SCOOTER! She simply used a cane and my arm for support.

Those of you who know Dawn know what a MAJOR accomplishment this is! This is only the beginning folks!

Tomorrow morning we get on a plane and fly to Fort Collins, CO for a week of recovery and some dear time with the family. The best is yet to come. I have included a picture of Dawn and Dr. Andrade in this post. This is a man whose work is a godsend to those who have been told they have no options. Going forward… it’s my pledge to get this man’s work on the radar of as many people as will listen!

Morning of Day 5

2010-07-02T12:09:00.000-07:00

This is our last day in the clinic. I'm currently getting the last IV bag of vitamins then we're headed to San Diego this afternoon.

Today is the BEST I've felt all week. It's the best I've felt in over a year!! I did 72 squats this morning. I couldn't do 5 before I left. And I'm sure I'll do more by the end of the day.

I wish I could visit this clinic like I visit my doctors at home. The people are so loving! The doctor hugs me and holds my hand and focuses on me in a way that I've never felt from a doctor before. Nurse Angelina calls me "my bebe" and I want her to be my grandma. We considered smuggling her over the border and bringing her home but I can't do that to her real grandchildren. Besides, we might get held up at the border with a sweet little Mexican nurse smushed into our trunk. I love all of these people and they care about their patients so much. We don't get to experience this in America. I am so grateful I was able to go through it.

I'm sure John will put his Day 5 post up soon...

Day #4: John "The Husband" Update

2010-07-01T16:53:00.000-07:00

Day #4 and I have to say that I’m astounded at the difference this early on. Dawn is no longer fatigued to the point of being useless. She has stood up on her own for a small amount of time… which was unheard of previously. She is able to do about a dozen squats at a time.

You must realize that Dawn’s muscles are so weak from years of not being used properly, if at all. So the trick now is to build up her physical strength. The good news is that this will now be possible to do. Much physical therapy in Dawn’s future.

They administered an IV drip of Vitamin C first thing. That was followed by two injections of a special mixture of Dawn’s cells that were introduced (via a culture) to a medium of stimulants. These injections will help the other stem cells communicate throughout the process. The final step was an injection of Nuprogen to the stomach area.

We’ve been told that about 4 weeks out from today will be the peak of any physical change that she will experience. If today was any indication… there are some very exciting days ahead.

NOTE: I have the entire surgical procedure from yesterday on video. In a few days I will edit it down into one comprehensive piece. Doctor Vargas and Doctor Andrade have just been amazing. I’ve been allowed to film everything. Every step has been meticulously detailed and recorded. And they’ve absolutely welcomed it. The transparency has been refreshing. When we’ve needed questions answered… they answer them. When I needed the correct spelling of a medication… they hand me the box or vial.

We are returning home with a TON of data. Dr. Andrade has been most gracious to share with us. He is an amazing man.

I know one thing to be true: The entire team here at the clinic exist to help people. Period.

Day 4 - The Stem Cells are Injected!

2010-07-01T13:24:00.000-07:00

As of last night, I have millions and millions of fresh stem cells swimming through my body. I feel better today than I have all week. As each hour goes by, I feel just a little better. I am standing and moving just a little bit easier. It's not night and day but I know very well that change is here and it's only going to get better.

I have the pleasure of going through this experience with another MS patient who has a PhD in Nutrition. Lucky me. She is going to get me on a nutritional regimen once I'm home to sustain this treatment and get the most out of it.

It worked! I have my work cut out for me now, however. My muscles are so weak from years of unuse. Now the physical therapy is possible and I can rebuild. I can't wait. So if you see me with my walker, don't be disappointed. Besides, I think you'll notice the smile is bigger!!

Day 3 in Dawn's words With an Update!

2010-06-30T10:46:00.001-07:00

The morning of Day Three…

I’m tired of feeling so sick. I can’t eat. I have a headache. My legs are sore and I’m so very tired. I feel extra weepy this morning because I had to say goodbye to Reagan who is going up to San Diego with Grandma, Pop, and Vann to visit the zoo and Legoland.

Dr. Andrade came to my side this morning and asked how I felt. He could see in my eyes how bad I was feeling and he came in closer and said, “I don’t want you to worry. Today it’s going to get better. You are in good hands.” I showed him the scripture I was holding close to my heart today: Romans 15:13 “I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in Him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.” Dr. Andrade read that and said, “Amen!”

I pray today that the fear and worry that have crept into my heart will be once again replaced with confident hope. This is the day that I will start to feel better. Big things are happening. I am currently being infused with super high doses of amino acids which will wake up my cells so that the stems will secure themselves. I am already tingling a little.

4PM UPDATE: Not feeling so yucky anymore. The other client here this week is in the room having her procedure done right now. I'm next. So far, I hear no screaming or crying. All is good. I've waited so long for this moment. Woah. I'm on deck.

Day # 2

2010-06-30T10:29:00.000-07:00

Pretty much the same routine as Day #1 minus the Urifron interferon (chemo). Dawn once again had a rough night. Headache and nausea. She didn’t sleep well. We found out yesterday that Day #3 is the big one. On Day #3 the stem cells will be harvested and put back in via a spinal.

It will be from this point forward that we’ll start to see some progress.

Stay tuned.

Day #1 Protocol

2010-06-29T11:32:00.000-07:00

Monday June 28, 2010

• Arrived at 10:00am.

• Began Chelation I.V. at 10:30 - EDTA (human-made protein) 11grams (to clean)

• Nuprogen (filgrastim) injection (anti-clotting) to the stomach at 11:00

• Injection in stomach at 11:30 – Erlan (Bioyetin) Erythropoietin 4000 UI

• Changed I.V. at 12:30 – Cytoxan – 500mg (stabilizing immune system)

• Injection in rear at 2:15 – Somatropina 4UI (hormone)

• Changed I.V. at 2:45 – Viatmin C – 2 grams

• Spoke with Neurologist – Dr Hugo Navarrete - from 2:45 to 3:15
• Injection in left arm at 3:20 – Urifron (interferon) Interferon alfa 2b - 3 millon UI (very mild form of chemo)

• Injection thru the I.V. at 4:00 – Ondansetron

• Injection in rear at 4:20 – Choline (B vitamin) Inositol (anti-inflammatory)

We arrived back to the hotel around 5:30pm. Dawn was told that it might be a rough night. And it was. By 6pm she was extremely shaky with a horrible case of the chills. She eventually got to sleep and slept over 12 hours. She was a bit better in the morning, but still had a headache.

Again… Dr. Andrade told her in advance that the first night might be a bit rough.

From Nashville to Tijuana

2010-06-29T11:06:00.000-07:00

Greetings. “John-the-Husband” here. I’ll be joining Dawn in updating this site along the way. Late last night, after day #1, I was able to put together a small video montage of our journey from Nashville to Mexico.

Enjoy

Day One Done.

2010-06-28T20:33:00.000-07:00

I'm keeping this short because I need to lay and be still. Here's what happened today.
1 - IV bag of chelation to remove heavy metals and toxins
2 - shot in my tummy (John has details on this.)
3 - IV bag of chemo to wear down immune system.
4 - shot in my tummy
5 - shot in my booty
6 - shot in my arm
7 - IV bag of vitamins
8 - shot in my booty again

The clinic is immaculate and classy. The staff are amazing and lovable. The doctors were caring and so knowledgeable.

I am feeling sick, cold, and wiped out right now. The doctors said this may heppen. But I have my parents and my dear John to take care of me.

Written on the wall of the clinic:
"Your faith has healed you" Matthew 9:22
I have more faith than ever. So thankful to be here.

The Before Videos #1

2010-06-25T14:55:00.000-07:00

Here's how hard it is to walk without any assistance. Reagan thinks it's pretty funny.

The Documenting Begins.

2010-06-16T11:05:00.000-07:00

I wrote this journal to document for myself how I feel before the treatment. I honestly didn't write it to share on the blog. But I've promised to keep this blog updated through this entire process so I'm sharing it. As we get closer, we will post videos of before and after the treatment to demonstrate how well it works. Watch what happens...

May 19, 2010

I don’t ever want to forget how I feel right now. I’ve said it before, “I’ve never been this bad.” And yet I seem to say that quite a bit. Now I’m worse than I ever thought I’d be. I’m worse than I was one month ago! What does that mean? I know someday this will just be a memory and I don’t want to forget how bad it was. I can’t get a deep breath into my lungs which is very uncomfortable. My ankles are tight and numb. I’m so exhausted, I can’t sit up and do anything at all. I dread the feeling of having to go to the bathroom. That means I have to drag my heavy, weak body up and get it somewhere else. My left leg droops behind. My arms burn from straining to hold myself up on my walker. I can’t stand upright for more than 1 second. I’m so tired that I feel nauseous. I’m so uncomfortable with my legs half numb and sore and stiff but I can’t bring myself to sit up and stretch. I want to give up until we go to Tijuana then I expect my life to change.

I’m going to be healthier than I’ve ever been in my life. I will consume alcohol, caffeine, and sugar ONLY in severe moderation. I will continue juicing and eating as many fresh vegetables as I can. I will cut down on dairy. I will exercise every day. I will do yoga, I will get to the gym. I will rebuild the lost muscle. The flesh just hangs off of my bones.
I will paint again. But first and foremost, more than anything else, I will help others. I will volunteer more. So often, I have to say “no”. Not much longer…

June 13, 2010

Only 2 more weeks. This just went through my head and I don’t want to forget it:
When I am tired and in pain, it affects my mood and how I treat my family. I hate that. I know that when I have some relief, my mood will change. I can’t imagine how happy I’ll be.
Yet even in this pain and exhaustion, I still find great joy in my life. More and more, I’m getting to know the God who loves me. I have a great church, a great house, a great dog, a great community and great friends. I have a phenomenal husband who loves me madly. I have a step-son who makes me laugh and I love his company. And I have Reagan. Sweet sweet Reagan.
So much joy already! Imagine how that will overflow when the relief comes!!

The heat has hurt. A lot. It has knocked me (almost) over. It has made me change my plans. All of my energy is gone.

I have had to take muscle relaxers every night in order to sleep. They also relieve the morning pain and stiffness. I wish I could “clean my body” before I go but I don’t think I have it in me. I’m going to do my best. This is so worth it.

June 14, 2010

Sweet Bill Garrison and his daughter Jean prayed for me tonight over the phone. He so graciously referenced scripture. He talked about, “this wonderful mother and her son” He talked about how God promises to take care of us and if we ask, He will listen. He brought me to tears on the phone. I know, as sure as I have ever felt, that God is at work within me. I know that I am in store for a miracle. There is no doubt that He is with me and this is the answer to my prayer. I am overwhelmed by His promise.
The heat is an obstacle for me right now. I’m having to change plans and cancel things. I’ve never felt so limited by this. I’m thankful that I can recognize my limitations right now but I feel terrible because we are missing out on things. Reagan loses because we can’t finish his Jumpstart class. But there are still many things to be grateful for. I’ve done a lot. Now it’s okay to just wait two weeks.

June 16, 2010

I have given up trying. I know that relief is in sight so I don’t feel like I have to try anymore. The symptoms have been so bad lately that all I want to do is sit still. My sister-in-law told me that it's okay. She reminded me that I've worked so hard at living when things were challenging. It's okay to stop trying so hard. However, since it’s worse than ever, I feel more selfish than ever. The pain and fatigue cause me to mistreat my family.

I depend on two people the most – my sweet husband and step-son. Unfortunately, when they have needs, I don’t have anything left to give them. It’s hard for me to have sympathy for anyone else. It’s not fair. But I promise I’ll make up for it.

On our way

2010-06-07T10:06:00.000-07:00

3 months.
230+ donations.
Countless prayers.

We most definitely have our answer – this is what we should be doing.

I’m humbled by all of those who have donated and sent their encouragement. I can’t even begin to express my gratitude. I can’t even begin to express how good it feels to know that so many of my friends and family and a large number of perfect strangers want to see me get well.

I prayed for years for God to heal me. When we found out about this opportunity, we prayed that God would bring us the money and open the door if it was the right thing to do. There is no doubt in my mind that this was His answer. God will be holding me close in His hands until I can walk again. It is a truly awesome feeling.

As I’ve said to many of you in the thank you notes I’ve written (if you haven’t received yours yet, it’s on the way, sorry), I wouldn’t wish this on anyone. But to go through this process has been a precious gift. I’ve received notes and emails that are so touching, they have made me cry. I’ve received checks in the mail from people who have never met me. I’ve received donations from people I haven’t spoken to in 20 years. There are some who have known me since birth, there are high school friends, ex-boyfriends, long lost college friends, friends of friends, and super-extended family members. You all hold a special place in my heart. I am forever grateful.

We leave on June 27. Watch what happens…

The Walk Project

2010-04-17T20:30:00.000-07:00

I wish there was a bigger way to say THANK YOU! So many have donated to my cause so far. We are well on our way. I see relief in my near future and I can't tell you what that means to me and my family. This will change our lives.

We have made our decision to get the ADULT stem cell treatment done with a company called Stem Cells For Hope. Their clinic operates in Tijuana, Mexico. The stem cells will be harvested from my own bone marrow. We've seen several great success stories and we couldn't be more excited. We leave June 27.

The next phase of our fund-raising is called The Walk Project. We need to find 500 people to donate $20 each and, once again, I am asking for help. This fund raiser will get us the rest of the way to our goal. Please ask your friends, family or co-workers. Spread the word through Facebook or email. There are two easy ways to donate. 1 - Click on the "Chip In" link below and you can donate securely. 2 - Checks can be made out to "Stem Cells For Dawn Gusty" and mailed to:

Dawn Gusty
1010 Barnes Circle
Kingston Springs, TN 37082

We're hoping to have our 500 donations by May 31. Your support and prayers mean so much to me. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Please continue to spread the word.

Why I Need Stem Cells

2010-01-12T07:01:00.000-08:00

Stem cell treatments are not yet approved in the U.S. If you want one, you have to travel out of the country. I need $38,000-50,000 for my treatment. A treatment that I believe, without a doubt, will make me better.

Lots of people have a reason that they need $30K (or more!!) Some may even need it for life-saving chemo. I'm not writing this blog request to those people. This blog is written to everyone else who can find a little extra to pitch in. To those of you who know me or my family, I come to you humbly asking for help.

There is always someone worse off than I am. There are plenty of Moms out there raising their children with physical challenges. Some with more difficult challenges than I face. There are plenty of Moms out there raising more kids with less money or less support or worse circumstances. If I weren't keenly aware of this, it would be a very tough road.

That said, there is nothing wrong with wanting to get better.

I am one of the 15% of total MS patients who have Primary Progressive MS - the worst kind. Relapsing-Remitting MS is the most common form. RRMS patients enjoy periods with zero to very little symptoms and then very distinct exacerbations from time to time. PPMS patients slowly worsen over time. It is not uncommon to end up in a wheelchair within 10-15 years. I'm on year 12 right now. Because of how this disease is progressing, without a doubt, I will be in a wheelchair in the next year unless something big happens. Stem cells are my "something big."

All the medication therapies that exist for MS benefit Relapsing Remitting. There is no FDA approved treatment for PPMS. The only drug that has shown promise is a chemotherapy drug called Rituximab. I have had two Rituximab infusions. According to my blood tests, it is doing its job. According to my ability to function day to day, it hasn't made a tremendous difference.

I have taken good care of my body since being diagnosed 12 years ago. That's probably why I'm still on my feet. However, in the past 4 years, the decline has accelerated. From 1997 to 2000, I walked on my own. From 2000-2008, I used a cane most of the time. Since 2008, I have been dependent on a rolling walker and my electric scooter. About a year ago, I began noticing a little less control in my hands. Now my left hand has visible tremors. I can look back 6 months and recognize abilities that I no longer have. I am quickly losing my independence. What is going to happen next season? How bad will it get?

I have two boys - a 12-year-old step son and a 4 year-old son. I have a wonderful husband who loves and supports us all. I'm not asking to run a marathon. I just want to take care of my family. I need to function better. Being in pain most of the time has affected my day to day mood greatly. It's so hard moving around my house. It's so hard getting in and out of a car. It's so hard when all I want (and need) to do is lie down and my son says, "watch this" or "play a game with me." Life doesn't stop long enough to get the rest that this MS demands. I struggle to get myself from room to room. Try to imagine having to army crawl through your house. That's what it feels like I'm doing. Often, my legs are just dead weight. It's tiring and it hurts. A lot.

There is promise in stem cells. I have read about people with MS whose symptoms have reversed. A great example can be found in the testimony of Paul Nicholas or of Holly Huber. And there are plenty more. Just ask Google.

There is no other treatment on the horizon for me. I am not currently taking anything that can improve my condition. I have fought this disease for 12 years. I have fought hard but I continue to worsen. My condition is worse now than I ever imagined it could be. Stem cell treatment is my only hope. And I have made a vow to God and now to anyone reading this page - I will use my improved health for good. I will pay it forward. This world will be better off when Dawn Gusty can walk again. Your help doesn't stop with my treatment. It takes form of my renewed energy that will allow me to do more in this world. And I promise that if any of you should come to me for help in the future, you will get it.

We have officially decided to travel to Tijuana, Mexico for my treatment. The company and the doctor have convinced us that this is the best place to go. This is also the easiest logistically for me and my family. If you'd like to pitch in and you are able, you can visit my paypal account - see the Donate button on the top right of this page under my picture. ANY amount would be tremendous. If you have questions, fund raiser ideas, or would like to help in other ways, please email me! In the unlikely event that I don't do this treatment, all donations will be returned. Should my cup overflow and we end up with more than we need, all money over and above the stem cell costs will go directly towards feeding school children in Haiti. I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

FEB. 21 UPDATE: We have received $3,400 in donations this week!! How awesome. Thank you to all!
FEB. 24 UPDATE: We are now over $5000. Unbelievable. I have extremely generous friends.
MARCH 19 UPDATE: Total collected - $14,975. Almost half way there!!

Still Kickin'

2008-10-20T17:36:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I wrote my heroic "No-complaining" blog. Honestly, I was hoping that leaving that statement would help it to linger in my life. Not so much. Gosh, did I really think I'd stop complaining?

I still try to remember that in the grand scheme of things, I am tremendously blessed. But in the context of my little world, I am challenged and frustrated.

My MS continues to progress and has now moved into my hands. I look into the future and worry that I won't be able to get around by myself much longer. I'm losing my ability to operate independently more and more each day.

I'm angry that there is no medicine on the horizon for those with primary progressive MS. Each year the MS Society raises money for research and "hope for a cure" and I can't help but roll my eyes at that anymore. Please. I'm losing my "hope for a cure". My sweet brother walks 50 miles every year and raises thousands of dollars. I've been diagnosed almost 11 years and I guess I just don't realistically see anything being solved.

It would be so much easier to give up. Maybe I don't want to try to eat right and exercise and try alternative therapies anymore. But then... what would happen?

What happens when you give up? Loss of hope. And there's no chance of improvement if your mind has declared it so. I look into the eyes of my child and I'm ashamed I ever considered giving up. I wish I could say that I never once let that thought cross my mind. But I'm tired. I'm just really really tired.

Today I'm allowing myself to feel pitiful. I feel sorry for myself today and I am mourning the loss of health. Tomorrow, I'll watch this video again and look into the eyes of my child and continue on. What choice is there?

Then One Day She Just Stopped Complaining

2008-04-16T13:33:00.000-07:00

Recently, I started to lose hope. I thought I was nearing the end of the hope roller coaster ride I had been on for so long now. Hopes up for the next new treatment, hopes down when it didn’t perform miracles, hopes up for the next one, hopes down, and so on. Looking at my situation realistically, I saw that I was worse than I was a year ago, a year ago I was worse than I was 5 years ago, and 5 years ago I was worse than I was when I was diagnosed in 1997. So I finally faced the reality that I was slowly getting worse. Nothing I’d done so far had dramatically made a difference or turned my situation around. Sure, I had had some good days resulting from some efforts I’d made but it wasn’t enough to make a profound difference in my overall condition.

So perhaps I should just stop trying and accept the inevitable. A new doctor confirmed my diagnosis of Primary Progressive MS which is the worst kind. I made an appointment with Wheelchair Services. Despite my sadness and hopelessness, I did, strangely, find some peace with the newfound acceptance.

But one night, as I sobbed with elbows on my knees, face in my hands, my husband said to me, “Dawn, if a sculptor sculpted you right now, it would be entitled ‘Defeat’. When are you going to get mad and just will it away?” Easy for him to say, I thought. But he’s right. Defeat means that the enemy has won. The loss of hope is detrimental to our health. I did still have a spark inside me somewhere that wanted to fight. Now my mind knew that but how do I convince my heart? How do I make that spark a raging fire? I prayed that God would bring hope and strength back into my life.

God has ways of showing us the answer to prayer if we’re open to looking for it. I was overwhelmed this week by images of children in need. I also heard heartbreaking stories of women in the Congo who have gone through unspeakable horrors. There is true suffering in this world that we will never understand, but one thing is for sure…

I. Do. Not. Suffer.

I am going to fight. I am going to pray and do whatever I can to not let this disease defeat me. But if I have to spend some days in a scooter, then so be it. It’s just more comfortable to sit sometimes. And life from two feet lower is still so good.

So, friends and family, please mark my words. Hold me to it. God may hear me complain but I hope you never will.

” Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
2 Corinthians 12:8-10

Fed Up With The Docs

2008-03-07T09:35:00.000-08:00

I am diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. Obviously, I need to be under a neurologist’s “care.” I stay away from any unnecessary prescriptions and I take good care of myself. I’m not foolish; I take the drugs I absolutely need. I am on a daily MS Therapy, I take a pill from time to time to help my bladder stay relatively normal and I occasionally need to take sleep aids. But, overall, I try to stay away from drugs. I typically won’t take over the counter pain medication if I can manage without it. When I’m in pain (which is often) I turn to natural methods for relief. I do yoga and take hot baths. If I exercise, the pain melts away. If I’m eating a diet of all natural foods, I tend to feel better.

Is it too much to ask to find a doctor who simply respects my philosophy and supports my efforts to stay well?

Here’s why I left my former neurologist who I had been seeing for several years:
When I would come to him with an issue I was concerned about, he would write a prescription. When I refused the prescription, he was done offering any help. If I didn’t take the drugs, then there was nothing further he could do for me. For example, I was concerned that I had lost almost 40 pounds in the last few years and I was underweight and continuing to lose weight. He immediately offered me a prescription for an anti-depressant that had a side effect of weight gain. What?!? Can anyone honestly blame me when I refused?

What about offering an explanation? Is it so beyond him that he can’t even discuss diet and exercise with me? He can’t even encourage me to live without the drugs and celebrate my successes when I go without? I felt as though he was laughing at my attempts. He actually did say to me at one visit, “If you’re looking for a holistic approach, you won’t find it here.” Well, no shit, doc, if I want a holistic approach, I’ll go to a holistic doctor (which I have done multiple times.) Forgive me for wanting to lean in that direction. But am I not the patient, therefore, the customer in this relationship? Is there anything wrong with supporting that approach and trying to keep me positive? Since when did doctors stop working for us?

I’m currently in the process of switching to a new neurologist. I feel like I’m interviewing for a job. I feel as though I have to be approved by him in order to be seen. I couldn’t just make this appointment on my own. I had to be referred by my former neurologist . When the old doctor’s office secretary called me to tell me when my appointment with the new doctor was, she said in her message to me, “The doctor wanted me to pass along a message to you to let you know that he does not use a holistic approach. I repeat, he does NOT use a holistic approach.” One, again I have to say, no shit. This I know! If I want a holistic doctor, I won’t be making an appointment with a traditional neurologist. Two, what was said when she was making this appointment for me? I can only speculate but I don’t feel comfortable with how my “case” was presented when the appointment was made. Why do I feel such animosity? Why do I feel like I’ve done something wrong? Again, I must ask the question, is it too much to ask to find a doctor that cares about my health and beliefs enough to simply respect and support me? Finally, it wasn’t necessary to repeat yourself, lady. I’m not a ding bat; I understood you the first time.

My appointment is set for April 8. I’m going to do my best to assume there is no animosity and perhaps I found a good doctor this time. I’ll tell him about myself and what my approach is and I’ll hope that this one will respect me and use that information to help me manage the MS whether the solution is traditional or considered alternative. Is that too much to ask? I think that’s the best we can expect from doctors today and that’s all I’m hoping for.

Emerging from the holiday baked goods

2008-01-25T14:54:00.000-08:00

Still haven't gotten back into the diet 100% since the holidays but I've got a new focus. I discovered that I could have the most pristine diet but if I have not exercise, I'm never going to feel my best. Likewise, if I'm not eating perfectly but I fit exercise in, I'm going to feel better.

That's not to say that I don't think what we eat is important. Believe me, I'll never let go of that truth. But I'm not going to go on such a restrictive diet again. This just causes me to be depressed and pissed off. That doesn't do me any good. So I'm going to eat a little more freely. I'm going to eat the foods that taste good to me but are still healthy. I like this approach so much more and I feel so much happier doing it. Happiness goes a long way.

And I will exercise! Understand, however, that I use the term "exercise" somewhat loosely when compared to everyone else. I hope that if anyone with MS is reading this blog, you'll hear me loud and clear. I'm going to stop feeling guilty for not sweating at the gym. All I need to do to feel good is slowly walk up and down my 14 stairs 5+ times in a row. I also "jump" on the trampoline with my little boy. It's not really jumping - I just stand up, get my balance, bounce a little and then fall down. Reagan loves it and it uses muscles I don't normally work so it makes me feel better. I also do 3 sets of 20 squats at a time. This is baby exercise but it makes a difference!!

I'm Thankful For The MS

2007-11-26T18:12:00.000-08:00

Today was a rough one physically. The MS symptoms are worse than usual. My legs and hips are in great pain, they're very stiff, and my knees and calves are extremely numb. Even still, I got out of bed (way too early thanks to you know who), we ate and stayed clean all day long. I even managed to do some laundry and cook dinner.

There are many out there with disabilities that can't say the same. There are many single moms out there who face more challenges than I. Can't we all say that? There's always someone out there who has it worse. That rings more positive than saying there's always someone out there who has it better. It's all about knowing how to count our blessings and being able to accept God's will for our lives.

With that said, here's why I'm thankful I have MS:

1. I get to stay at home with my little boy every day. This would not have been possible for us without my disability benefits.
2. I get handicapped parking spots - Legitimately!
3. Handicapped parking is FREE at airports no matter how long you park in short term. (Did you know that? Yes, it rocks.)
4. It's forcing me to eat supremely healthy right now which may very well prevent cancer later on.

With all the pain and challenges in my life, I wouldn't trade it for another. That's a good feeling.

DAY SEVEN - One Week (Minus Thanksgiving)

2007-11-25T18:17:00.000-08:00

I don't know if Dr. Andrew would count this week since I had two huge cheating days but I think I'm going to count it regardless. I'm feeling better today than I was yesterday. I have a good feeling that I'll be even better tomorrow. The worst symptom today has been the icy cold nerve pain going on in my feet. It feels like I've been walking barefoot on ice.

My overall physical temperature today:
Fatigue - 3
Numbness - 7
Pain - 4
TOTAL = 14

DAY FIVE - Back on the wagon

2007-11-24T12:13:00.000-08:00

Day 5: November 24, 2007

Happy Happy Thanksgiving! God bless scones, turkey, stuffing, sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, pie and sweet cheesecake. I cheated not one day but TWO!! Everyone knows that Thanksgiving food tastes even better the day after. I had an amazing day with my family eating loads of food and lazing around. Not good for the body but oh so good for the soul. I paid for it, however. Today when I woke up, I felt worse than I'd felt in a long time. I was incredibly numb and stiff. Therefore, it feels really good to be back on the program.

First thing: green drink and probiotic
Breakfast: 2 boiled eggs, strawberries and goats milk yogurt
Lunch: turkey soup, cashews
Dinner: all natural chicken hot dog, turkey soup w/ carrots, onion, red pepper

DAY THREE - There's An Absence

2007-11-21T20:21:00.000-08:00

Day Three: November 21, 2007

I encourage everyone to visit www.upbuttcoconut.com

I shopped at Whole Foods yesterday so I was able to stock up on some "Level One-Appropriate" foods for a little more variety. My palette gets bored easily. Having few new things to eat in this daily routine has made it a little easier today. (I was also able to pick up some Two Bite cranberry-orange scones at Whole Foods for Thanksgiving. Try these. They are little triangles of Heaven.)

First thing: 10 oz green drink and probiotic
Breakfast: goats milk yogurt berry smoothie, fried egg
Lunch: carrots and red pepper with Goddess dressing, chicken hot dog (nope, not sick of them yet), raw cashews
Snack: raw cashews, boiled egg
Dinner:Annie's Organic Tomato Soup (I cheated a little, this has organic cream in it), all natural turkey slices

This is day 3 for me on a pretty strict diet. I'm thinking a lot today about how much importance i place on food each day. Before three days ago, I ate what sounds good, I ate what makes me feel good, and I really looked forward to meals and snacks. Generally, I ate whenever I felt hungry. Now I'm very aware of this absence in my day. The absence of being satisfied by food.

Thanksgiving is tomorrow. I realize a little more right now just how very spoiled I am. I have access to so much food. I have access to Whole Foods! My cupboards and fridge are stocked. Now I'm experiencing an absence in my diet and it's throwing me off. But what about the millions and millions of people in this world who live with that absence? There are children who live with this absence. God have mercy on them and show us all how we can help more.

Tomorrow my house will be full of friends celebrating our gratitude together. I believe God does want us to enjoy what we do have. But we must do so with grateful hearts. Thank you, thank you and thank you. Amen.

DAY TWO - Onward

2007-11-20T16:06:00.001-08:00

Day Two: November 20, 2007

Made it through day one! Now how many more days until I can eat waffles for breakfast again?

Overall, I'm feeling pretty decent today. Just knowing that I'm doing something positive for my health can really affect how I feel. Attitude is so important. But having the positive attitude and the healthy confidence that can beat disease is easier said than done. I've spent too many years fretting over my pain and worrying about the future. I can give myself a solid pep talk because I know how important our mind's role is in our overall health. But convincing our soul is another story. And that's the part that matters! I need to know and believe deep down that I'm going to get better and I know I will. But sometimes I doubt. Too often I doubt. So how do I go about making that internal shift? I believe the only answer is prayer. My own prayer and the prayers of so many others. I know so many people pray for me. That's a beautiful thing.

Here's the diet for day two:

First thing: 10 oz. green drink and a probiotic
Breakfast: hard boiled eggs, grapefruit, water
Lunch: all natural chicken hot dogs (these things are so good - I hope I don't get sick of them), avocado, peas, kefir drink and water
Snacks: raw cashews, 10 oz green drink
Dinner: all natural chicken-apple sausage and spinach salad

Through it all, lots and lots of water.

The doctor gave me the go ahead to eat freely on Thanksgiving and for this I am very grateful. I am already dreaming of the stuffing, the potatoes, the pie. Ah, sweet pie.

Overall physical temperature:
Fatigue - 5
Numbness - 5
Pain - 4
TOTAL + 14 (One degree better already! Woo hoo!!)

DAY ONE - The Diet Has Begun

2007-11-19T07:58:00.000-08:00

Day One: November 19, 2007

I'm Dawn Gusty and I have MS. December, 2007 will mark my 10th anniversary of being diagnosed. I live just outside Nashville with my wonderful husband, John, my sweet little boy Reagan (2), and my way cool step-son, Vann (10).

My condition has steadily declined over the past 2-3 years. It's time to turn that around. I'm ready to make some serious changes and see some improvement. I'm tired of feeling blechy. There's too much left in this life to do and it's not an option for me to be disabled. I've got two little boys to watch grow and I want to be a part of it!

The purpose of this blog is to keep me accountable on my journey to health. I don't presume that everyone out there cares what I eat each day and how I feel. However, I'm going to use my imaginary HUGE audience to keep me on track. I'm going to imagine that there are thousands of you reading my page each day to see how well I'm doing. Maybe someone out there with MS has found my page. If so, then maybe this information will help you in some way.

So what am I doing? I believe we are what we eat. I believe that my body can heal itself if it has the proper internal environment.

I start today, Monday, November 19 on a new program called "8 Weeks To Extraordinary Health" developed by Dr. Asa Andrew. Weeks 1-3 are Level One - The Anti-Inflammatory Level. It's easier to list the items I CAN eat rather than the items I can't since those are too many. I CAN eat: clean meat, goats milk dairy, eggs, almost all vegetables, a few fruits, and raw nuts. (More details on him and the program once I hear it's o.k. to deliver.)

That's pretty strict! Yikes. I have eaten very healthy in the past few years and have recently given up dairy and wheat but, gosh, this is healthy supreme. This is serious. And I like to eat and I love to snack. That will be the hardest part.

The comedian, Brian Reagan, said his doctor told him to give up dairy and he said, "why not just give up happiness?" Then he described his first trip to the grocery store going dairy free. He said everyone in the dairy section was wearing party hats as he sullenly walked by to the juice isle. Well, I feel that way about everyone in just about every section of the grocery store.

Obviously, attitude plays into our health just as much as what we eat. So, I guess I should stop moping about everyone wearing a party hat except me. Perhaps I should see it as ME wearing the party hat because I should celebrate the fact that I'm getting well.

So here's to my new journey and my new diary friends. I know you care a great deal about what I'm eating on my first day so here's the diet: (You have to care, otherwise the accountability thing doesn't work.)

First thing: 10 oz green powder juice and probiotic
Breakfast: 2 eggs scrambled in organic butter with fresh spinach and goat cheese, green tea
Lunch: all natural chicken hot dog, broccoli, crispy kale (recipe to follow), tomatoes, water and green tea
Reagan and I had frozen blueberries for dessert (if you've got a good enough imagination, it's almost like eating a popsicle)
Snacks: raw almonds, avocado
Dinner: tuna steak, tomatoes, butternut squash and more water

My first day wasn't so bad. The only hard part was that I never felt full! Around dinner time, I started snacking on anything I was allowed to eat and never really felt satisfied. But this is just day one. I'm hoping my body will adjust as the days pass.

Overall physical "temperature": (Out of ten, ten being the worst or strongest feeling)
Fatigue - 6
Numbness - 5
Pain - 4
TOTAL= 15